What to Say When Someone Loses a Beloved Pet

Pets are treasured family members, so it can be incredibly painful when they pass away. Even if you’ve experienced this kind of loss firsthand, it can be hard to know what to say when a pet dies. We tapped a pet grief expert for insights on what to say (and what not to say) when you’re comforting a friend or family member who is mourning their pet.

“Grief is tenacious and can dig deep into the heart,” says Wendy Van de Poll, MS, CEOL, a pet grief expert and founder of the Center for Pet Loss Grief and Center for Animal Communication. “It affects daily routines and can leave someone feeling very hopeless. The seven stages of grief are extremely valuable; the order in which people experience them is truly up to them. It is important to let them unfold naturally.”

These scripts below can help you find the right words to offer a bit of comfort in a very challenging time. If it feels appropriate, you can also support your loved one in other ways, like dropping off some comfort food, making a donation to an animal welfare organization in their pet’s name, or simply offering to come over and keep them company.

Ahead, read what an expert recommends doing and saying when someone’s pet has died.

Saying the wrong thing can lead to hurt feelings and sour some of the closest relationships. “It can be difficult to know what to say at the right time, and we can find ourselves bumbling for words,” Van de Poll says. “If you know someone who has lost their pet, the best is to prepare yourself ahead of time to become aware of unintentional yet potentially hurtful comments.”

She suggests avoiding saying the following three things to someone who has lost a pet:

• It’s only a pet; you can get another.
• Are you still grieving?
• Let me tell you what I did after my pet died.

Pet loss is an individual journey. So, as a friend or family member offering support, remember to be sensitive and keep in mind that what you say should reflect your personal relationship with the owner.

Try some of these examples:

• I’m sorry for the loss of [pet’s name]. They were an awesome companion who brought you so much joy.
• I’m here for you. Take your time. I know how much [pet’s name] meant to you.
• [Pet’s name] will be missed and live in our hearts forever.
• The special bond between you and [pet’s name] is unbreakable. The memories can never be taken away.
• I am sorry to hear about the passing of [pet’s name]. He brought so much joy to all of our lives.
• We know that [pet’s name] lived a wonderful life because they had you as their person.
• It’s never easy losing a family member. We know that [pet’s name] was more than family to you.
• [Pet’s name] was so lovable and adorable. They will be sorely missed.
• It’s never easy saying goodbye to our loved ones. [Pet’s name] will live on in all our hearts.
• I’m thinking of you during this difficult time. May the beautiful memories [pet’s name] bring you comfort.
• We’re going to miss [pet’s name] so much! They really brightened our lives.
• [Pet’s name] was the absolute best companion who loved you unconditionally. I know this is an incredibly hard time, but know that I am here for you.
• You gave [pet’s name] a wonderful life. May their spirit live on in our hearts.
• [Pet’s name] was such a gentle and loving soul. Their calming presence will be missed.
• Nothing can ever take away your precious memories of [pet’s name]. They will always be a part of you.
• [Pet’s name] made everyone’s day brighter. Their friendly and sweet spirit will be greatly missed.

• I’m so sorry for the loss of [pet’s name]. May I make a donation in their honor to a charity of their choice?
• I’m thinking of you. Remember I’m only a text message away for anything you may need.
• Sending deep condolences and endless love. My sincere thoughts are with you during this hard time. I'd like to drop by some groceries sometime this week–please let me know what works for your schedule.
• Just checking in. I know every day is different, but know that I’m always here for you.
• Deepest condolences on the loss of [pet’s name]. Will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.
• I know you’re going through a difficult time. I’m always here to be a listening ear.
• May the memories of [pet’s name] bring you peace and comfort during this difficult time.
• I’m here if you ever need anything. I know [pet’s name] was the light of your life.
• [Pet’s name] always made me smile. I am here for you for whatever you may need.
• Thinking of you during this difficult time. Know that you are loved.
• I'm so sorry for your loss. I am here for you and am ready to help in any way I can.
• Hold tight to the countless, wonderful memories you shared with [pet’s name]. Think of them during this challenging time.
• Words cannot express how saddened I am to hear about your loss. My condolences are with you and your family during this time of grief.
• Please accept my condolences on the passing of [pet’s name].
• I know I can’t take the pain away, but I want you to know that I am here for you.
• My heart goes out to you. I’m deeply sorry for the loss of [pet’s name]. I hope happy memories will comfort you during this difficult time.

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