8 BBQ Etiquette Rules Experts Say Everyone Should Know This Summer
There’s more to think about than just bringing a hostess gift.
Can you really say you took advantage of the summer without attending at least one barbecue? It’s as synonymous with American summer as fireworks on the Fourth of July. But as fun and casual as barbecues can be, they still come with their own set of rules. According to etiquette experts, there are plenty of host and guest behaviors that can make the difference between a smooth gathering and an awkward one.
Here, Beth Anderson, author and founder of Anderson Etiquette, and Diane Gottsman, national etiquette expert and owner of The Protocol School of Texas, share the barbecue etiquette rules everyone should know before their next cookout.
Dress appropriately for the occasion
It’s easy to assume any casual attire will do for a BBQ. But Anderson says take the time to ask if there’s a dress code or theme. “Don’t show up too overdressed or underdressed,” she noted. “While being a little overdressed isn’t too much of an etiquette infraction, overdoing it can be considered just that!”
Resist the unsolicited assist
Both Anderson and Gottsman stressed that BBQ attendees should stay away from the grill. “Avoid taking it upon yourself to flip the meat,” said Anderson. “You wouldn’t go into someone’s kitchen and start taking over the cooking. The same holds true for outdoor grilling.”
Gottsman agreed, adding, “[You can] offer an assist, but don’t give unsolicited advice or insist on helping.”
Don’t open the grill
Taking a look at the goodies as they simmer inside a closed grill might seem harmless. However, Gottsman calls that an etiquette faux pas. “If the meat and veggies are smoking, refrain from taking a peek,” she confirmed. “It throws off the temperature and the griller may have the coals flawlessly heated for the perfect sear.”
Have options
Gottsman said even the most seasoned hosts should remember to include a variety of items in their spread. Your homemade sauces and spice rubs may be a hit, but some people may have dietary restrictions that prevent them from indulging in a spicy BBQ sauce. You’ll also want to include a few meat-free options.
Don’t tuck your napkin into your shirt
Using a napkin while eating BBQ is a must. But Anderson emphasized there’s a right way to do it. “Tucking your napkin into the collar of your shirt is bad form. Your napkin belongs on your lap and nowhere else.”
Start with a modest amount of food
Piling food onto your plate might seem like a compliment to your host. On the contrary, both Anderson and Gottsman say good etiquette calls for the opposite. “Don’t overload your plate or take two plates through the buffet line,” said Gottsman. You don’t want to take things you won’t consume.
Let the hosts know if something’s getting low
Being considerate is good etiquette across the board, but especially at a BBQ. “If you find that some of the food or the condiments are almost gone, notify the hosts so that they may be replenished,” said Anderson. “Also, don’t take the last condiment without asking the host if more is available.”
Show your gratitude
According to Gottsman, going the extra mile in thoughtfulness is peak BBQ etiquette. “Arrive with a host gift and close the experience out with a thoughtful thank you note,” she says. Offering to bring a side dish is also often appreciated.
DeVonne is a writer and editor with over a decade of experience covering a wide range of lifestyle topics. He's worked on brands like Parents, Men's Journal, Healthline and Bankrate, with focuses on trending news and culture. He’s also led various multimedia initiatives in the wellness and parenting spaces. He currently lives in the Charlotte, NC area.
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