13 Restaurant Etiquette Rules Even Polite Diners Get Wrong

Having your cell visible remains an etiquette no-no. Gottsman says it leaves an unfavorable impression, especially at a professional lunch meeting or interview. “It signals you are distracted and someone else is more important,” she says.

Richey adds that if something urgent comes up that requires you to be on your phone, “excuse yourself and step away from the table, instead of handling it in your lap.”

Anderson explains keeping elbows off the table is an etiquette rule that dates back to the Middle Ages. “Tables were wobbly and uneven, which meant putting elbows on it [could topple] it and ruin the meal.”

Since restaurant tables are now sturdier and casual dining has increased, she says the rule has been relaxed. “Though, it’s more acceptable to put your elbows on the table between courses.”

While packing up leftovers is common, particularly for larger food portions, this should only be done among family. “During a job interview meal, skip the to-go box,” Richey instructs. “Even if you'd normally take leftovers home without a second thought, a working meal is being watched as much as it's being eaten. Asking for a box can read as too casual for the moment.”

When treating someone to a meal, you might think ordering for yourself first is the way to go, especially if you’re familiar with the restaurant. But Richey says the buyer should order after the guest. “It's a small gesture, but it signals the meal is about them, not you. Hosts often get this backwards simply out of habit.”

Even if your rudeness alarm is sounding, both Anderson and Richey assure that it's OK to send back a dish that arrives wrong or undercooked. “One of the most common dishes sent back are steaks,” says Anderson. “If it’s [not cooked to specifications], politely and discreetly let your server know that your meal needs revision.”

Richey agrees, adding, “The etiquette is in how you [send it back], not whether you do it at all.”

Gottsman advises against trying to give the server a hand. “You think you’re helping the server, when actually it interferes with their responsibility to keep the dishes from breaking or spilling on other guests.”

Richey points out that the American way of cutting food with the knife in your right hand before replacing it with the fork to eat is often assumed to be the only correct way. “Keeping the fork in your left hand for the whole meal, European style, is just as correct, and it's becoming more common at American tables,” she says.

Anderson advises against cutting up an entire entree right away. Instead, “Only cut one to two pieces at a time to preserve the food’s temperature.”

Payment etiquette at restaurants can be tricky sometimes, depending on the occasion. If arrangements aren’t made ahead of time, your party can spend a few extra awkward minutes working out who covers what, which is not what you want to do at the table. Gottsman puts it simply: “The person who pays the bill should also cover the cost of gratuity.”

Anderson explains napkin etiquette: how you use your napkin to communicate with the service staff. An unfolded napkin on your lap means you’re ready to begin the dining experience. A folded napkin on your chair means you’ll be returning. A folded napkin to the left of the serving plate means you’re finished.

Richey says how you rest your knife and fork can also signal whether you’re finished or just pausing. “Getting it backwards is a common reason plates get cleared too soon, or not soon enough.”

When you appear to be finished eating, the server will politely ask if they can take your plate away. While it might feel correct to allow them to do so, Richey notes the right etiquette move is to wait. “Even if you're the first one done, wave off an early clear or ask the server to hold off. It keeps the table together instead of leaving one person eating alone while everyone else watches.”

“This is one of the most commonly flipped rules at the table,” says Richey. “Solids go to the left, liquids to the right. A simple way to remember it is ‘BMW, for Bread, Meal, Water.’ The bread plate stays on the upper left. It is not moved down toward the edge of the table.”