I remember the moment I realized that one of my young children may already be aware of race. He was 6 months old. At that time, over a decade ago, our mixed-race family lived in a largely white community and mostly interacted with white adults. I vividly recall the day a Black man entered a room where we were. My infant son, who is Black, was riveted, as if he was seeing himself reflected in that visitor for the first time.

As a white mom raising two Black kids and two white kids, all adopted, I had read a few books and joined Facebook groups in preparation for conversations about race I assumed would occur further in the future.

I had stocked our bookshelves with stories about diverse families and carefully chosen dolls that showed a variety of skin tones. I knew we needed to do more, but found the patchwork collection of guidance available to me often confusing and laden with mixed messages. I knew that eventually we’d wrestle with these issues, but I wasn’t yet aware of the science that shows babies as young as 3 months of age notice race, which is nearly five years before most parents plan to broach the topic.

As my kids grew, and as my family moved to a more diverse community, I connected with people who were on a similar parenting journey as I was. One of those folks was Tabitha St. Bernard-Jacobs, a fellow parenting writer also raising kids in a multiracial household.

Through her work, I found ways to talk to my young kids about race and racism without shame. Over the years, St. Bernard-Jacobs and her husband, Adam, have taken that framework for raising antiracist kids and created a set of building blocks, outlined below, that parents can use to discuss those tough topics. Through national media, the Raising Antiracist Kids newsletter, and Tabitha’s research at Boston University, the couple has sought to distill their deep knowledge and personal experience into actionable steps that parents can take into their daily lives.

“Adam and I were involved in social justice work before we became parents,” St. Bernard-Jacobs says. “But when we became parents we realized we needed an extra layer of intentionality to make lessons on justice, kindness, and fairness applicable to and appropriate for our little ones. We developed the Six Building Blocks from a desire to infuse lessons on anti-racism into the everyday realities of parenting, from extra-curricular activities and weekend fun to meltdowns and conflict resolution.”

I know firsthand how helpful this guidance can be.

Kids are already learning about race, whether we talk about it or not

As I observed with my son, kids are aware of race far earlier than most parents realize. St. Bernard-Jacobs had the same lightbulb moment when her own son was just a toddler. “He started having questions about his identity, and I was completely unprepared for how to take these really big lessons and big concepts and make them applicable to his very, very young mind,” she recalls. “And I did not know, even though I had been talking about these things for so long as an adult, how to break down these concepts for a 2-year-old.”

That realization kicked off a decade of work by the couple, including Tabitha’s research at Boston University, which she did while earning a Masters in Education for Equity & Social Justice. St. Bernard-Jacobs co-authored “Parents as Leaders in Their Children’s Anti-Racist Education: The 6 Building Blocks of Antiracist Parenting” with her mentor and professor Dr. Detris Honora Adelabu, which was published in the Journal of Progressive Human Services in early 2026. This work tackles the topic of what it means to be an antiracist parent. Antiracism, for parents, means actively teaching our kids to recognize, question, and challenge racism in themselves, their relationships, and the systems around them.

Dr. Adelabu says many parents are unsure how to tackle the topic of race and identity—so they wait, often too long. “We talk to kids about other, very sophisticated concepts. They're learning about metamorphosis and things like that, yet we feel like they cannot understand race,” Dr. Adelabu says. “It’s important to have these conversations early on.”

If you search for books and resources on race and parenting, you’ll get a lot of results. An overwhelming amount, really. The issue St. Bernard-Jacobs set out to address is that much of what’s out there doesn’t feel accessible or actionable for today’s parents.

Moving forward, without shame, St. Bernard-Jacobs encourages parents with kids of any age to jump into their building blocks—viewing them less as a checklist with a finite end, and more as a framework for ongoing antiracist education.

The 6 building blocks of antiracist parenting

Designed to be woven into the fabric of daily family life, the building blocks developed by St. Bernard-Jacobs and her husband have been taught in community workshops, at libraries, and in online spaces. They can be part of dinnertime conversations or incorporated into PTO meetings. The building blocks are designed to be implemented at whatever point your family is on its journey.

book resources

Prioritize diverse media

Kids benefit immensely from books, shows, movies, and games that reflect the entire breadth of the world around them. For children of color, that representation affirms identity and belonging, but all kids need media that features diverse families, cultures, and experiences. Our bookshelves and toy boxes are two of the first places we can examine—and change—on the antiracist parenting journey.

At the Brooklyn Public Library, Jessica Ralli is the manager of Early Literacy Programs and Special Initiatives, as well as an author of the First Conversations children’s series. The library hosts workshops led by Tabitha and Adam, where parents learn these principles firsthand. “Topics included how to respond to children’s questions about race, how to talk about fairness and privilege in age-appropriate ways, and how to build antiracist values into everyday family life,” Ralli says. Families engage with reflective media by participating in antiracist storytimes, music performances, and diverse book giveaways. Local librarians are a great resource for parents looking to add more diverse books to their shelves.

Books

TV shows

Encourage continuous education

Antiracist parenting is rooted in a willingness to keep learning. Books, podcasts, articles, and trusted experts help parents examine what we were taught, expand what we know, and pass along more thoughtful lessons to our kids. Natania Kremer, a mom raising a multiracial child in the New York City metro area, loves that the workshops hosted by the St. Bernard-Jacobs team uniquely involve children in the experience. By including the whole family, the program established a foundation for collective, ongoing learning.

“After our first workshop with Tabitha and Adam, I appreciated the encouragement to create an Antiracist Family Goals plan and Equity Rationale, defining our family's values on race and why we believe in equity, justice, and liberation,” Kremer recalls. “My family has revisited this process over the past several years, which supports us as we aspire to live our shared family values.”

Educational resources

Initiate consistent conversations

Kids’ understanding of race evolves as they grow, so our conversations must evolve, too. “Like anything we aim to practice and build consistently into our lives, integrating antiracist parenting principles requires consistent habit and is most effective when we're accountable to people we care about,” Kremer says.

“That may look like sharing what we're reading, listening to, or watching as we learn and unlearn, as well as any questions we're grappling with.” Kremer says it also often looks like having an open conversation with their child about an injustice happening in their community, even when it feels uncomfortable or challenging.

Conversation starters

Create an intentional environment

The people and spaces surrounding our kids shape how they see the world. That’s why, when our kids were toddlers, we chose to move to a more diverse community where our whole family fits. Look for communities, activities, and relationships that make antiracism part of everyday life.

“When our children are surrounded by an environment that embodies equitable multiraciality, this is normalized for their growing minds in unspoken ways that have an indelible impact on their development,” says St. Bernard-Jacobs. “It helps set the stage for their expectations of spaces they occupy as they age.”

Ways to start

  • If you live in a diverse area, seek out activities that mix fun with lessons on equity and justice. One example is visiting the free U.S. Open’s Arthur Ashe Kids' Day in New York City.
  • If your family loves to travel, consider infusing history into your adventures. The St. Bernard-Jacobs family took a civil rights family road trip, for example.
  • If your family does not live in a diverse area or cannot travel, consider exploring online educational offerings from museums and other educational institutions.
Hands of adults and children holding Crayola crayons on a coloring page with colorful scribbles in the background.
Natania Kremer
One activity run by Tabitha and Adam asked parents to have their kids pick a crayon color that matches the kid’s skin tone. Some kids matched, but many didn’t.

Be a role model

Like with most things, our kids learn by watching us. Practicing antiracist values is a daily choice, and the conversations we have and relationships we invest in show our kids that we care about this work, too. “It’s helpful for parents to remember that they are their children's first teacher,” Dr. Adelabu says. “Whether we're having the conversations or not, they are aware of differences, just as we teach them their colors.”

Kids naturally sort and categorize the world around them—animals, shapes, sizes. Dr. Adelabu says that’s why it’s crucial parents model antiracism daily. Kids will see society categorize people by race; they will notice that some are treated differently because of it. “It becomes important for us as parents,” she says, “To help children take what they're learning and understand it, and to not feel like it's something to not discuss or be shy about.”

St. Bernard-Jacobs says, “Kids watch what we read, how we treat others, how we interrogate our own biases and how we embody our commitment to our own antiracist journey.” Be intentional about it.

Getting started

  • Leave books out around your home that show your kids you are learning, too.
  • Kids watch whether we avoid or address racism when we witness it as adults. Model antiracism by calling out racism when it occurs.
  • Model infusing antiracism into daily living.
  • The St. Bernard-Jacobs family plays Dinner Jeopardy. To play: As a family, pick categories related to antiracism (e.g., Native American history, books by Asian authors, shows with Black characters, etc.). Add in categories that connect with your kids’ interests (e.g., trucks, food, dinosaurs, unicorns, fashion, etc.). Pick a host to give the clues; adults and kids can take turns. Make it fun, even if the topic is serious.

Take part in community action

Antiracist work is strongest when families do it with others. Getting involved with community efforts can help children understand that change is built through shared action. Ralli says they’ve incorporated this building block into ongoing library programming. Recently, families participated in a collaborative art build and mini march to support immigrant neighbors.

“Children created signs with welcoming, inclusive messages, while Tabitha and Adam facilitated conversations with parents and caregivers about age-appropriate activism and how children can participate in community care and social justice work in meaningful ways,” says Ralli. Check with libraries, nonprofits, and social justice organizations in your community to find ways to get involved with community action as a family.

Get involved

The goal is practice, not perfection

As we move through our antiracist parenting journey, each new stage will raise new questions and challenges. Don’t get bogged down in what you don’t know yet—just be open to learning.

“One building block is continuous learning because we as adults have to commit ourselves to being students of antiracism at all times—that never ends,” says St. Bernard-Jacobs. “My son is 11 and my daughter is 6. I've never parented a 12-year-old before, so I am also learning all the time about how to transfer this knowledge to his age. He comes to me with questions sometimes, and I don't even know the answer. He's at an age where I can say, ‘Let's do the research together.’”