There are certain things people expect you to do, say or have when they know you live in Chipping Norton. These include owning a dog, wearing a Barbour coat and driving a Land Rover.
Now, I do sometimes wear an Alexa Chung Barbour coat (which my partner got in a House of Fraser sale), but I do not have a dog and I have never – or had never, until last week – driven a Land Rover. This proves that I am not a proper Cotswolds person, I just rent a house in the town because it’s near to where my teenagers go to school.
Ah, the teenagers. Sam, aged 15, and Anna, aged 13, are at that age where there is no upper limit to the amount of hours they can watch YouTube. When the weather has been as consistency foul as it has this year, honestly I don’t blame them. So, when February half term rolled around and the opportunity came up to borrow a new Land Rover Discovery Tempest and head off into the relative wilderness of the Western Cotswolds in search of adventure, we all said YES PLEASE.
The Discovery is a beast of a vehicle. Ours was matte black with gold trim, double sunroofs, heated seats that give you a massage while driving (nice for my arthritic hip) and automatic everything. There’s even a chiller compartment between the front seats to keep your Coke cold on a long trip. Compared to my Mini, I found the sheer size of it discombobulating to start with - rather like driving a tank if a tank was made of velvet and sounded an alarm when it went too close to any other object or 2mph over the speed limit.
It’s a cliche but as a co-parent of teens I am forever transporting outfit changes / spare trainers / GCSE revision guides and all manner of other detritus up and down the M40. So I am delighted by the giant boot and its automatic open/close function. Even without a dog, this would be a materially life enhancing feature.
We make our way to Eastnor Castle, the home of Land Rover, where they’ve been putting new models through their paces for decades. There are photos in the visitor centre to prove it.
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Extreme driving isn’t something I’d ever voluntarily sign up for – it was hair raising enough trying to park the Discovery in a multi storey at night. It was a good job I didn’t know when setting off with our unflappable and ever-patient instructor Adrian beside me (noting his reassuring dual-control pedals) quite what kind of a 'road trip' I was getting myself into.
The tracks around Eastnor are designed to test the car to its limit and even with me behind the wheel it feels weirdly…safe? The vehicle adjusts to the terrain - giant rocks, metre-deep water, 45-degree slopes, the lot. At one point I drive it up some steep, stone steps. The engine just purrs along, while the teens in the back whoop and gasp and film on their phones while I try not to swear.
If you buy a Discovery of your own, you get invited to come and do this experience for free as part of the deal. Land Rover want you to know what your car can do, although I do wonder how often anyone ever needs the ‘rock crawl’ function when all they’re doing is cruising in and out of Soho Farmhouse.
Then, the teens get to have a go. Admittedly not on the very extreme terrain, but it’s bracing enough for an anxious mother in the back. It’s strange being driven up a dirt track by your 13-year-old daughter. My son, not unpredictably, pronounces himself ‘a natural’ and wants to know where he ranks against other beginners. Ever-wise Adrian chooses to wait ‘til the end of the Young Off-Roaders experience, when we’re all safely out of the car, to admit he’s never instructed such young drivers before! What a hoot.
All that adrenaline made us hungry. Lunch is at Eastnor Castle which feels like a cross between The Traitors castle and Hogwarts, packed with suits of armour, giant paintings and a roaring fire. As we walk in Sam exclaims, ‘What in the private school is this?!’ Suitably, pudding is Eton Mess.
DO IT: We stayed at Cowley Manor Experimental where a family room (the teens shared a sofa bed) start at around £529 a night depending on the day / season.
A three-hour driving experience at Eastnor Castle costs £370 for up to three drivers. The one-hour Young Off-Roaders experience costs £160 for two drivers. Bookable via
