We figured that the best way to find out about the inner workings of the American home was just to ask! So we did. In April, we conducted a survey to better understand how people manage their homes today—from daily chores and the “mental load” to relationships, well-being, and evolving expectations around housekeeping. Respondents were asked about how household responsibilities are divided; how those responsibilities impact stress, career, and relationships; and how standards for cleanliness and organization have changed over time.
More than 3,600 people—Millennials, Boomers, and everyone in between—from rural, urban, and suburban areas all over the country weighed in. Here are the top five takeaways:
Doing the chores might be the ultimate flirt
Here’s a compelling argument for splitting chores: It could make you a little foxier in your partner’s eyes. In our survey, 95% of respondents said a partner’s contribution to household work affected how attractive they found them. In fact, when asked whether they would like their partner to plan a romantic date or handle the chores, 59% of the respondents chose the chores.
Some respondents noted that a lack of contribution can lead to frustration and resentment. One said simply, “Laziness is a real turn-off.” But a common sentiment in our survey was that handling tasks is an easy way to show love, appreciation, and mutual respect. Said one respondent: “When he takes on more, I am more relaxed—mentally and physically available.”
“Mental load” is a big part of modern housekeeping
Only one in seven survey respondents said housekeeping included merely cooking and cleaning. But despite the broad use of digital tools—nearly half of respondents said they use at least one—it’s still easy to get overwhelmed with all of the planning, scheduling, remembering, and following up involved in running a household. These tasks among others, collectively known as “mental load,” figured into nearly 70% of respondents’ definition of modern housekeeping.
- 27% said that housekeeping now includes both traditional chores and more planning, organizing, and coordination.
- 26% reported that housekeeping has expanded significantly to include mental load, scheduling, and household management tasks.
- 17% said that housekeeping has changed drastically in the last 25 years—it now goes far beyond chores to include digital management, logistics and constant planning.
“I absolutely get overwhelmed,” said one respondent. “There are many things, including deadlines, that have to be remembered, and almost all of it falls on me. I am the ‘organizer in chief’.” And even when couples have a healthy division of labor, the tasks can sometimes build up. “Even with two adults trying to split duties, it’s a lot with jobs and kids,” another said.
Household duties aren’t just stressful—they’re fueling workplace burnout
Work-life balance has always been a challenge, but when the two truly collide, the results can be painful. In our survey, about half (49%) of respondents said household responsibilities had affected their careers. Of that cohort, more than 14% had to turn down work opportunities and 12% reduced work hours due to duties at home.
The biggest impact? Burnout. Nearly 60% said that attempting to balance work and “life” had led to that strung-out feeling of stress and exhaustion. In addition:
- 9% said their work performance had suffered
- 8% had to change jobs
For many respondents, the work-life juggle was the hardest part of running a household. “Working full time, raising a child, and housekeeping” was difficult, said one person surveyed. “My husband’s deployments were extra stress and work on me.” Others lamented the seemingly endless tasks. “So much to do, so little time,” one said.
A tidy home can bring peace of mind—and pressure
Chances are, if you’re a Good Housekeeping reader, you take pride in keeping a clean and organized home. The survey results bear that out—and take that feeling a step further: More than 90% of respondents said that a tidy home is important to their well-being. “Keeping everything clean is key,” said one. “Cleanliness decreases stress.”
But with the importance of a tidy home comes the stress of keeping it that way. More than seven in 10 respondents said they feel at least some pressure to keep their home clean and organized. And nearly half said they had different cleanliness standards than their partner did, which complicates things even more! In some ways, the anxiety comes from a seemingly endless list of tasks and responsibilities. “Once you get it clean, it gets dirty,” said one respondent. “And once you cook, you have to clean.”
There’s (still) room for improvement in the division of labor
We asked our respondents whether there are still outdated expectations of who should manage the housekeeping in the home. The majority—78%, in fact—said that antiquated assumptions linger. A deeper dive showed that women (56%) were even more likely to say yes to this question than men (44%).
When asked about specific chores, female respondents were more likely to say they are responsible for tasks like food shopping, cooking, and laundry, while their partners handle duties like yard work and taking out the trash.
One woman summed up the sentiment, saying, “I do all of the cooking and meal planning. [My husband] gets off work earlier and just sits there until I come home an hour later, sometimes. He cannot even start dinner!”
Only 8% of coupled-up respondents said that the majority of tasks are split evenly with their partner. But for a glimmer of progress, three out of four respondents report that at least one chore is split evenly with their partner. And there’s hope for shifting equity with our longtime loves: One respondent said, “We are getting better at splitting responsibilities since we are retired.”
Beth (she/her) is the executive editor of Good Housekeeping, where she oversees all print content and manages features, personal essays and special projects for the brand. She is a former executive editor at Woman’s Day and features director at Reader’s Digest and a current adjunct professor at New York University in the School of Professional Studies. As a former college and semi-professional soccer player, she twice had the unfortunate experience of playing against Abby Wambach.
Sarah (she/her) is a deputy editor in the Good Housekeeping Institute, where she tests products and covers the best picks across kitchen, health, and food. She has been cooking professionally since 2017 and has tested kitchen appliances and gear for Family Circle as well as developed recipes and food content for Simply Recipes, Martha Stewart Omnimedia, Oxo, and Food52. She holds a certificate in professional culinary arts from the International Culinary Center (now the Institute of Culinary Education).
