While you might be taking a lot more of them after owning a dog - taking on a furry friend is no walk in the park. Even as a professional dog behaviourist, I go through all the same challenges as everyone else - and am facing them all over again now I've adopted rescue puppy, Toasty, with my family.
Thinking of taking on a pup of your own, or about to welcome one home? Here's what you need to know...
The fear is normal
Adopting a dog of any kind - rescue or not - can really make you feel the fear. It's a rollercoaster of emotions because you've taken on a living creature with emotions. That can weigh heavily on your mind - and it should. It means you care and are aware of the responsibility you’ve taken on.
The guilt will come for you
Women of a certain season of life, like myself, can often feel guilty about everything. We feel anxious we aren't doing enough, or too much. We’re concerned we could be creating issues for our pet, or worry we’re not meeting their needs. Instead, pause. Remind yourself you’re doing the best you can and celebrate the small wins (it’s much more productive than screaming into the fridge, I promise).
It doesn't all fall on you
If you’ve taken on a rescue as a family, remind everyone that this is a group effort – everything does not automatically fall onto you. I remind my family that we are raising Toasty together. Taking on a dog also doesn’t happen as an isolated situation – in my case I was juggling sleepless nights and doctor’s appointments about HRT. We all have millions of other things happening in our lives which don’t suddenly stop at the arrival of your furry new pal – make sure you share the load.
There will be mistakes and that's part of it
Yesterday I had to see clients, so I left my husband and daughter to feed Toasty his supper. When I got home, I realised my husband had fed the puppy the entire week's worth of food in one meal. While I initially despaired, I saw that Toasty was living his best fed life that day. In the grand scheme of things, did it really matter? There will be mistakes, there will be tears, there will be losing your mind when things don't go well. And that's ok. It isn't perfect - and it won't ever be. The only real mistake everyone makes, is presuming there won’t be any.
Have realistic expectations
And on that note, while a new dog is exciting and fills your life with unexpected joys, there’s no getting away from the fact that taking on a dog can be tiring and blooming hard work. So, make sure you put realistic expectations in place. I know, for example, that for the next few months, we can't leave Toasty alone until he's learnt to feel safe in our home. That means someone always needs to be there. My husband and I schedule turns to see my daughter’s end of year play, our neighbour’s daughter comes by to entertain Toasty, while I have online work sessions, and my parents help fill in the gaps. Yes, it really does take a village at first – but it won’t always be that way.
Don't worry about what you ‘should’ do
Right now, our puppy is sleeping in my son's bed. Other owners would insist on putting their dog in a crate - and that works great for some people - but this works for us. Try to not be bound by what you feel obliged to do and instead focus on your dog, your life, your home, your kids - your set up.
Enjoy the little things
Take each day as it comes. And, when that feels like a stretch, pop your new dog on a 5m long line, fill your flask with coffee and let them sniff in the long grass for 30 minutes. Take in the sun and enjoy your time walking in nature with your new the companion. That four-legged fluffball by your feet is so happy to have a new home - and will love you forever, no matter what.
Everything your puppy wants you to know and The book your dog wishes you would read (both Orion) by Louise Glazebrook are out now.
