‘Happiness is fundamentally a state of your mind,’ my Bhutanese guide, Dorji, tells me as we tramp up a steep hill towards a temple. ‘If you always want more, you’re never going to quench your thirst. Be happy with what you have. I’m happy because I have my coffee, I have you here, we had a scrumptious lunch. Just do good for people, that’s life’s purpose.’
Bhutan, the so-called ‘happiest kingdom in the world’ nestles peacefully between India and China and is home to just 800,000 people. So, what could I learn from them about the secrets to a happier, more peaceful life?
Respect nature
The first international visitors only arrived in Bhutan in the 1970s. Slow tourism is advocated; hiring a local guide to visit all the main sites is required while $100 per day tourist tax helps pay for conservation, given Bhutan is the world’s only carbon negative country. Swooping valleys are dense with forests and it houses the world’s highest unclimbed mountain, Gangkhar Puensum, never summited because it’s considered sacred.
You can, however, climb up to the breathtaking Tiger’s Nest monastery, 3000m high above the clouds and a 4-6 hour hike from the main carpark. You have to set off at 6am to avoid the crowds and take it slow - climbing to this altitude means there’s less oxygen. The monastery is the nation’s most famous landmark and very sacred; phones are placed in lockers and shoes must be taken off before entering. Looking out over the lush valleys from within the clouds, I feel deeply connected to the earth and completely at peace.
Choose an extra husband
Some regions in Bhutan operate as a matriarchy (where land passes to daughters over sons) while women, as well as men, are permitted multiple spouses. ‘My aunt has two husbands,’ Dorji tells me. ‘One for labouring, one for the home.’ I'll pitch it to my partner and see what he thinks...
Prioritise what matters
The most unique thing about Bhutan, however, is its Gross National Happiness Index. While most countries judge the health of their nation with the financial indicator GDP (gross domestic product), Bhutan uses in-depth, bi-annual surveys to assess the happiness and quality of life of its citizens. The king and government then make changes according to its results. ‘All over the world, there is so much chaos and bad stuff happening, but over here, the calmness, the prosperity and peace is on another level. That’s the very reason I’m happy,’ Nidup , who runs a homestay with his wife near Punakha (in her ancestral home), tells me.
Explore traditional wellness
Wellness – mind and body – lies at the heart of this Buddhist nation, with hot stone baths filled with leafy artemisia – traditionally praised for having therapeutic benefits - a fixture of local life. I enjoy baths at both Bhutan Spirit Sanctuary and Gangtey Lodge, two luxurious, five-star hotels, 2400m and 3000m metres up the Himalayas respectively. At Spirit Sanctuary, I also take part in yoga and a traditional medicine consultation (I’m prescribed 10 minutes of sun each morning, warm food and no caffeine). Over at Gangtey Lodge, I have an in-room massage and morning stretching session, where I leave feeling like a stiff pretzel that’s finally been unwound.
Learn from your past life
Many Buddhist sites welcome visitors. At Gangtey Monastery, I’m blessed by a 17-year-old reincarnated scholar who has vivid dreams of his past life. At the College of Astrology, Thimphu, the astrologer says I was generous in my own past life – in the god realm! – so I’ll live into my 90s and have a windfall of success in my late 40s.
Trust the unexpected
I head to Chimi Lhakhang fertility temple, about two hours’ drive from the capital, Thimphu. I spot a large, wooden phallus in one corner, and am told it’s for a ritual where women who wish to get pregnant carry it on their back and circle the temple three times. A scrapbook of baby photos and letters from families across the world credits the temple with bringing them children.
The ritual may seem a bizarre to us, but phalluses are a common sight in Bhutan, painted in great detail on many buildings and available in every form as souvenirs. The meaning depends on the design, and while many denote fertility, if you see one with eyes it’s there to provide protection from malicious gossip. I have a feeling if I tried painting the same on my own front door in Britain it might invite, rather than repel gossip!
A complete digital detox isn’t necessary
I meet many more monks during my time in Bhutan, including the principal of Gangteng Buddist College. I ask when he feels most happy, and a student translates his response: ‘When he gets to have a quiet time in his room, he feels happy. When you stop your mind from wandering too much here and there, then you naturally gain some peace.’ Just as he’s finished answering, I’m horrified to hear a phone vibrating, presuming it’s my own. The principal apologises, pulling out a mobile tucked under his robes to take a call. The student next to him takes the opportunity to check his own, which pings with messages. ‘Monks love their smartphones,’ Dorji tells me, smiling, as they use them to communicate and play games together rather than doomscrolling.
I also get involved with traditional archery and darts - both hugely popular and competitive pastimes for locals - at Six Senses Thimphu in Neyphu Valley. I find that, while I’m pretty good at firing an arrow, I only manage to land the heavy, wooden darts in the grass. While I might not be exactly mastering the sports, it feels good to get outdoors and try something new, which is completely disconnected from tech.
Final thought...
Bhutan is the most unique place I’ve ever travelled to and one of the last truly unspoiled places to visit. It was a wrench to leave, but I come away with a new outlook. Generosity leads to a better life, fulfillment is more than material wealth and happiness can be found in the smallest of details – even silence (just maybe mute your phone every now and then).
GETTING THERE: I was invited by the Department of Tourism Bhutan, in partnership with luxury tour operator Cazenove+Loyd. I travelled from London to Bhutan via Bangkok with Thai Airways, and Drukair to Paro. To break up the journey, I spent a night at COMO Metropolitan Bangkok, home to the incredible, Michelin star restaurant nahm. For more information Bhutan, visit the official website.
