What do you get when you put an EastEnders star turned military documentary maker in the The Celebrity Traitors castle? A rather large dose of paranoia, it seems. If you’re one of the many millions tuning into series 2, you’ll know that Ross Kemp is, erm, a little wary of his fellow contestants - and while it might have won him an army of fans who are finding the whole thing absolutely hysterical (us included), it certainly hasn’t done him any favours when it comes to his length of stay at the castle.
“He’s really worried”, Traitor Maya Jama said of Ross after Bella Ramsey put a hat on his head during the first challenge and Ross believed she’s just killed him in plain sight. Funny, yes, hysterical even, but we all know the first rule of The Traitors: don’t make yourself a target. And let’s just say, Ross might want to be a little more careful about drawing attention to himself. Here’s why the star has already made a fatal error on the show...
How it started
When the 62-year-old EastEnders icon entered the Celebrity Traitors castle, he appeared cool, calm and collected… for all of about 5 minutes. It all started with ‘hatgate’. During the contestants’ first mission, Bella Ramsey put a hat on his head. So far, so ordinary. But Ross wrongly believe that Bella had somehow marked him for death – murdering him in plain sight. Needless to say, he was wrong.
Next came the arm touch. When fellow Faithful Leigh-Anne Pinnock brushed passed Ross in the bar, he was quick to question her motives. Had he been murdered… again? Hilariously, Ross simply couldn’t let it go and went as far as to confront Leigh-Anne about it. Her response? Please calm down, Ross.
How it’s going
Unsurprisingly, Ross’s paranoia hasn’t gone unnoticed – by his fellow celebrities, by us - and even by Royals. Ross recently launched the National Emergency Trust’s ‘Ready Together’ project alongside Prince William who couldn’t help but make a joke of Ross’s Traitors paranoia. After placing his arm on Ross’s shoulder, he said: “Am I allowed to touch you there?” before Ross laughed: “Yeah, I’m not going to freak out, not today.” When your on-screens antics have caught the attention of the future King, you know you’re in trouble.
Inside the castle, things aren’t going much better. Not only has Ross essentially made enemies of Leigh-Anne and Bella – two apparently strong players – he’s also put himself in the firing line for several reasons:
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The double bluff
We’ve seen the double bluff on The Traitors before. A Traitor deliberately acts paranoid, chaotic or simply stupid because they think other players will believe they couldn’t possibly be a Traitor. If Ross’s fellow players are clever, which they are, they’ll be looking out for this kind of behaviour. The trouble is, Ross isn’t a Traitor, he’s a Faithful, meaning there’s a very high chance that he'll find himself caught in a case of mistaken identity.
He’s too clever
While Ross’s antics have attracted a certain amount of mockery from fans – and royals! – it’s only a matter of time before Ross’s fellow celebrities realise he’s actually quite clever. No, Leigh-Anne and Bella didn’t murder him, but they could have – and the only person who would have noticed is Ross. Ross is a man who spots everything, which is crucial in a game of Traitors, and as soon as the Traitors (we’re looking at you, Maya) realise that, they’ll want him gone. Because no Traitor wants a threat around, do they?
He can’t be recruited
For the best odds of staying safe in a game of Celebrity Traitors, you want to be a Traitor. Sadly for Ross, that’s unlikely to ever happen. He’s paranoid and everybody knows it, so if Maya and James did consider recruiting him, they’d likely come to the conclusion that Ross is too much of a loose cannon to be considered for the role. After all, if Ross was recruited, his paranoia can’t just disappear overnight, can it? But if it didn’t, he’d have to ‘perform’ it – and we don’t think he’d be very convincing.
How it ends
Don’t hate us, but we’ll say it: Ross Kemp will not last much longer in the Celebrity Traitors castle. Even if he does turn his relationship with Leigh-Anne and Bella around and they become best of friends, that doesn’t solve the fact that Ross has made his presence well and truly known and we all know the best way to survive is to lay low – and stay low. We’ll see you on the other side, Ross.
The Celebrity Traitors continues on BBC One and BBC iPlayer at 8pm on Thursday 8th October.
