Victoria and David Beckham. Barack and Michelle Obama. Prince William and Princess Catherine of Wales. When we say ‘celeb couples’, you probably don’t think of BBC Radio hosts. But you’re missing a trick – and some serious relationship wisdom.
Along with career success a lovely garden and a spot-on fitness routine presenter and DJ Jo Whiley also has a marriage to be proud of. This week, she and her husband Steve Morton, a music executive and band manager, celebrated a very impressive 35 years of marriage.
The couple are not prone to massive displays of public affection or pap walks, so we don’t often get a glimpse of their long-lasting relationship. But for such a big anniversary, Steve did take a moment to share a sweet Instagram post dedicated to his wife, sharing a throwback photo from early in their relationship (in 1997, dressed up as Ginger Spice and Baby Spice, naturally) with the message: ‘To my beautiful wife! Happy anniversary! Love you! Disco xxx.’ Jo responded with a simple: ‘Aw shucks’. Cute, right?
The couple met through work when Steve booked a band on to one of Jo’s shows and got married back in 1991. They share four children: India, Jude, Cassius and Coco. If you’re a regular listener to Dig It, the podcast Jo shares with Zoe Ball, you’ll know that Steve Morton is often referred to as ‘Disco Steve’. This nickname is because, Jo explains: ‘When we have a party he’s always the last one to go to bed.’
Steve is a fairly regular presence on Dig It, appearing as ‘Disco Santa’ at Christmas time, but neither he nor Jo share loads about their relationship. They’ll occasionally post in support of each other – Steve shared a video of Jo DJ-ing at the Isle of Wight festival, for example – and tend to mark their anniversary with brief glimpses into their marriage. For their 30th anniversary, Jo shared a gallery from over the years with the caption: ‘This guy. Disco Steve. The yin to my yang for 30 years. Pretty wonderful, really. Lucky, lucky me.’
In 2018, Jo told The Telegraph about her marriage: ‘We are fortunate that we still find the same things interesting and funny and we have very similar backgrounds. We do genuinely enjoy each other’s company, so on a Friday night if we haven’t seen much of each other in the week, it’s great to sit on this settee here, with a glass of vodka, watching Queer Eye or some stupid quiz show and just catching up. We like the same music, stupid games and fancy dress parties.’
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The secret to their enduring relationship? It might lie in a tip Jo shared on an episode of Dig It. Jo recently told Zoe a story about Steve coming along on a trip to the garden centre, despite this not being something he’s particularly in to. Jo thanked Steve for joining her, to which he responded: ‘It’s okay, I just want to be with you, so wherever you want to go, that’s fine.’
Jo went on to say they ended up having a ‘really nice’ time at the garden centre, with Steve buying a houseplant, and that while they both got ‘absolutely drenched’ by the rain, it ‘didn't really matter’. ‘I work in the evening,’ she said, ‘So I don’t get to hang out with Steve in the evenings. So when it comes to the weekend, that’s our opportunity to just be together and do stuff all the time.’
That might seem like a simple anecdote, but there’s a lot to be taken from it. For one thing, it confirms the importance of taking opportunities for quality time whenever you can. Time together shouldn't be reserved solely for intricately-planned date nights – couples in happy marriages use errands and small pockets of time as chances to bond.
There’s research to back this up – one study looked at the time couples spent together talking and doing activities, and found that higher amounts of both were associated with happier relationships. It might feel obvious, but it’s worth a reminder. The study’s researchers said: ‘Increasing the amount of time spent together on everyday activities may help couples by providing opportunities to connect and discuss their days, problem solve together or simply enjoy one another’s company, and it may be simpler to work on increasing time in everyday activities than to assign full “date nights” for many couples.’ The end result of more time together: ‘higher relationship satisfaction, more positive qualities in marriage and more desired and experienced closeness.’
Another interesting aspect of this anecdote is that Jo noted that Steve isn’t hugely interested in gardening, but he still went along to the garden centre. There’s an important lesson: couples don’t need to have everything in common, but what matters is that you consciously choose to engage in each other’s interests. Going along to the garden centre with a partner who’s deeply invested in mulch, attending a gig of a band you don’t particularly adore but your husband loves, watching their favourite TV show... all these things are about making a little effort for the sake of something your other half enjoys. And they can be genuinely transformative.
So, if you want a relationship that’s as solid as Jo and Steve’s, there’s your answer. Take time to spend together wherever you can. Bonus points if it’s something your partner gets super excited about, even if it’s not your usual thing. And if it rains (metaphorically or literally), don’t stress – what matters is that you’re together.
